Moving the Whole Glass

Drinking the Whole Glass has moved to a more user-friendly site. I will miss my beautiful flower template, but my new blog is adorned with a photo of my favorite place in the world. Come visit me there at http://www.krislindsey.com/

Friendship Heals

A new UCLA study suggests women cope with stress differently than men. Apparently the previous research, which cited a "fight or flight" response to stress, used men for nearly 90% of their study participants. New information on brain function indicates a woman's hormones actually block the fight or flight response, and instead encourage her to tend children and gather with other women when stressed. This nurturing and bonding causes the release of calming hormones. Some suspect this is why women consistently outlive men.

These results sure ring true. When I'm stressed, talking out all the issues and feelings with a close friend does make me feel better. And when I say "all the issues," I mean every last detail. Better allow at least two hours for that lunch date. I have several friends who are good listeners, and keep confidences. I don't know how I would have gotten through some of my tough times without them. I in turn check in to see how they're doing, and make time for them, too.

But when I'm really hurting, sometimes I just want to curl-up and hole-in. My mind fogs and I feel too weak to reach out and connect. In these times I pour out my soul to my best friend, Jesus. He not only hears my moans, but can affect my circumstances and change the hearts of those involved, including mine. We can give God our burdens, knowing He will lovingly guide us through.

Sometimes scientific research only affirms what we instinctively know. Still, it's helpful to see how God made our bodies to cope. I want to do all I can to stimulate those calming hormones. The next time I feel stressed, I'll drink the whole glass of God's loving provision by seeking out the friends He's given me, and entering into His presence where I find peace and rest. How about you?

Editing Life

"Kris, my mother loved me after all." My friend's face beamed. She went on to explain that her mother had criticized her all her life. At the writer's conference we were attending, she realized her mother was an editor, not pointing out faults out of disdain, but trying to make corrections for her benefit. Good news for my friend, but it made me think about my own perfectionism, and its influence on my daughters.

Later, a publishing editor commented on his wife's misfortune in being married to an editor, because he always focuses on problems. Now this really hit home. How did my perfectionism affect my marriage?

When my husband tells me about his work projects, I frequently give suggestions on alternate ways to do things. I think I'm helping, and ocassionally I am. But sometimes he responds in anger. At first I thought he just wanted to do things his way, but now I see he takes my comments as criticism. He feels I'm questioning his personal competence.

I love editing. My skill in catching typos and missed punctuation marks is greatly appreciated in my writer's critique group. But when I try to micromanage my husband's work, sparks fly. We both get upset, and both get our feelings hurt. Few things in life get my emotions down like a fight with my beloved. This pain goes deep to my core.

But I can prevent this emotional turmoil. I can change my ways and stop trying to perfect every detail my husband shares with me. I'm making an effort to let go and let him do his thing. He sees the big picture, and the little changes I would make don't make a significant difference, anyway. I'm letting him handle his problems, and practicing being content with things his way.

More than that, I'm choosing to adjust my tongue. Instead of suggestions, I'm doling out compliments. Instead of telling him what I think he should do, I'm telling him how much I appreciate what he does. This is easy. He's a very hard worker. I could never accomplish all he does. I'm extremely thankful to have such a talented, diligent husband, and I need to tell him so more often.

Editing is essential to good writing, but not so much in life. I'm learning that perfectionism, when focused on others, is sometimes received as criticism or rejection. The resulting angst hurts everyone. I want to prevent this emotional drama in my life by lightening up on details and focusing on the good, like God does with me.

Metamorphosis

Instead of checking myself for negative thoughts, today I decided to proactively increase my positive ones. With spring bursting out all over, I marveled at every delicate blossom and lime green leaf. Who is this Creator who transforms grey to bright, death to life? The same One who turns my dull moods into hope-filled joy by His presence.

When the Sun Comes Out

I awoke this morning thinking about the Japanese nuclear accident. This news hit a deep nerve. Fear of just such an event was drilled into everyone in my generation. The invisible force would torture, deform, kill and remain for thousands of years. Now they're saying it may not be so bad. I hope so. Those poor people.

After about a minute, I recognized this as negative thinking. No way could I do anything about it. Except pray.

"Dear God, only you are big enough to handle a disaster of this complexity and magnitude. Please keep your hand on the whole thing. Give the people in charge wisdom. Have mercy on and take care of those affected. Teach us lessons for the future. Please use even this situation to draw people's hearts toward yourself, that they too may be comforted by your presence. In Jesus' name, amen.

A sunbeam streamed in through a crack in the blinds. It looked like it was going to be a nice day.

My View of Me

Today I caught myself thinking negatively again. What a bad housekeeper I am−my baseboards are so dirty. To solve my self-image problem, I decided to clean them.

Afterwards, I did feel better about myself. I realized I'm not a bad housekeeper, just an old one. My back and knees can't do that job anymore. Next time I'll use my acquired wisdom and hire a teen.

From Dark to Light

A dark cloud loomed over my bed this morning as I awoke thinking about a friend's health problem. Nothing I could do about it. Then I realized I had started my day with negative thoughts. I know what to do. Go to God.

"Dear Jesus, please help my friend. Touch her today with your healing hand. Let her know you're there, and how much you love her. Guide her in Your plan."

My heart felt lighter for a few seconds, then another friend's relationship feud came to mind. My chest tightened as I imagined the possible outcome of her circumstances. Take it to God right now.

"Dear God, you are the God of justice and mercy. Please comfort my friend. Give her peace in her chaos. Please work this situation to good for all concerned. In Jesus' name, amen."

Before I had the chance to resume a normal breathing pattern, another friend with multiple woes took center stage.

"They try so hard, God, but keep getting bombarded with one thing after another. Please help them, and let me know if there's something I can do."

"Give her a call this evening."

"I will."

All morning, problem after problem kept entering my mind. Each time, instead of dwelling on it, I deflected the situation up to God. As I did, I felt the clouds lift. My powerful God would be there for them. With Jesus' help hope shined through.

What started out as depressing thoughts turned into a morning of prayer and fellowship with my Savior. My friends had asked me to pray for them. I felt good about remembering to actually do it. God turned my negative thoughts into positive ones. Doing this did brighten my day.

 

What Do You Think?

I recently heard the average person has over 600,000 thoughts a day, and the vast majority of these−over 75%--are negative. Do you think this is true? It got me thinking about my own self-talk. Do I do this? If so, in what ways? I decided to take a week and evaluate my thought life. If the majority of my thoughts are negative, then replacing them with positive ones should improve my attitude and brighten my days. I'll keep you posted (this is the accountability part).

How Should I Feel?

Three people who are dear to me are in the middle of painful crises. In each situation, God is working miracles, and it looks like they will all be better off in the end than before. Should I be sad for the pain they are enduring, or happy because God is bringing them through?

I tend toward empathy. This morning I woke up feeling emotionally off. Of course I did. These tragic events shook me up. I reasoned that I should feel bad because bad things happened, and people I love are hurting.

I also lean toward worry. But that was hard for even me to do when God's guiding hand was working such obvious wonders and healing. Why be anxious? He has each situation under control.

So…should I feel happy today instead? I pondered and wrestled with God about this new idea.

It feels wrong to feel good in these circumstances.

Why?

Because they are in the middle of hardship.

I'm working everything out with them.

I care about what happens.

Pray for them.

Sharing their pain paralyzes me. Is it okay to focus on You and what You're doing, instead? May I let go of the hurt and trust your control of their situations?

Yes, you may.

Here's a radical thought. May I go one giant leap forward and actually rejoice in the good You're working?

Absolutely. I call that faith.

In that moment, I felt the Holy Spirit's power energize and lighten my heart. The pain disappeared, replaced by a tenuous joy.

This feels good, but do I have enough faith to endure? How long can I look past the waves of their present struggles and keep my eyes on Jesus?

And can I possibly accept this very imperfect situation? Is it really imperfect? I think of perfect as calm and trouble-free. Maybe God's perfect plan involves the pain of growth. Hmm.

Then I saw it−clear as day. Their trials are between God and them. Only they can work them out. I had a boundary issue. Yes, I must touch and understand their hurt, but not take the pain upon myself and carry it around all day. I should keep myself as healthy as possible so I can help. My job is to pray and encourage.

So today I'm drinking the whole glass of God's loving provision by exercising my faith in God's sovereignty, and focusing on His wonderful workings in my loved one's lives.

 

The Perfect Plan

All I wanted was for Mother to get the best care possible after her accident. Diagnosis and treatment−that seemed easy enough. In the emergency room, the barrage of complex tests and speed of specialist visits impressed me. Things were progressing quickly until Mom got admitted to a hospital room.

Once there, communication bogged down. The doctor gave a wrong order, the Physical Therapy department inadvertently canceled their diagnostic evaluation, the nurse misunderstood my mom's pain level, etc. I tried my best to intercede and clarify in an attempt to get the right help for the correct symptoms. But the harder I tried, the worse things seemed to get. In the end I had to give up on perfection and let others flounder around while Mother suffered. It was excruciating to watch.

Through this experience I learned we don't have a perfect hospital system, but we do have a perfect Savior. Jesus filled my heart with peace as I trusted that, though Mom's care seemed mediocre, he had the situation in his hands. God doesn't promise to eliminate the bad, but to walk us through in victory, and even in the worst circumstances, to work for the good of those who love him.

And he proved himself faithful. God provided caring staff all along the way to encourage us, and an extremely qualified surgeon who exceeded our expectations with his skill. God answered the myriads of prayers offered up by friends, and my mom's pleas for strength to persevere. Through it all he drew our family even closer to each other and to himself.

Over the last few months, Jesus prepared me for this ordeal by teaching me that things don't have to be perfect to be okay (see my Nov. & Dec. blog posts). Knowing this enabled me to drink the whole glass of God's love by letting go, accepting Plan B and watching God work in ways I couldn't have imagined.

Mother returned home last week in good spirits and well on her way to recovery.

Victory in Defeat

The midnight call two weeks ago knocked the wind out of me. My 82 year old mother had fallen, so my sister and I rushed to the hospital. I floated through the next five days in a nightmare of miscommunications and mistakes by hospital staff, while we sat watching Mother suffer. Taking on the role of advocate, I questioned, prodded and nagged in an attempt to get better, quicker service. But alas, the hospital system is hard to buck. In the end, the authorities won. I couldn't bear to sit by and watch them hurt my mom. Powerless and broken, I retreated home in defeat.

Alarmed by my disheveled state, Bob suggested I read a book by a certain lady he knew (me). He was right. I needed to seek God for help. I thought back on my book topics. Chapter one says trying to control something I have little or no control over causes stress. That explained my burnout. Turning the situation over to the One who has ultimate control relieves stress, but how could I in this case? All patients need an advocate to look, listen and fight for their welfare when they are disabled. I felt an urgency to stay in the mix and do what I could. Only now, that wasn't much. In my weakened state I could only sit on the sofa and mourn.

I rested, ate and requested prayer support. I listened for God's voice as I read my Bible. I washed clothes and straightened cushions on the sofa, stalling off the inevitable wrestling match with God. Finally I forced myself into the front room and turned on my praise music. With hands and heart raised but clenched I let the music slowly sink in.

"But God, I hurt. This is too hard."

"I know."

"It's my mom. I have to keep fighting, don't I?"

The music pounded on.

"I know I need to release her to you, but I can't."

"I am here."

"How can I know you'll take care of her?"

"Because I love you, and I love her."

With tear-filled eyes I watched my fists struggle to open.

"I can't let go. The stakes are too high. I need to make things happen. I have to save my mom."

The song tugged at my heart, declaring God's strength, God's care.

In an anguished act of will, I forced my fingers to move a couple of inches, my hands now upraised cups. Then, with a final cry and God's help, I uncurled my fingers and flattened my hands.

It was done. I was free.

Peace and strength replaced torment and fear. The painful ache inside me dissipated as a quiet confidence in God grew. Now I could return to Mother's bedside, with my Lord leading the way.

A Merrier Christmas

Gazing at the sparkling array of lights and ornaments on the Christmas tree is one of my favorite things to do, but putting up the tree is not. My beloved Christmas CDs and a steamy cup of hot chocolate usually sweeten the chore, but not this year. As I painstakingly labored to place each ornament in just the right place, I became aware that I felt so grumpy it hurt. How sad is that−having such a bad attitude I felt sick while preparing the Christmas joy?

Why did I dislike this chore so much? My perfectionism−again. With each stage of decorating, I faced the daunting task of arranging decorations symmetrically on an asymmetric tree. The garland needed to drape in a precise spiral. Every shiny ball must be evenly spaced and color balanced.

Frustration gripped me as gaping holes appeared at every turn. An almost imperceptible voice in my head whispered I don't want to do this. Press on and just get it done. Must find the perfect place for this one. No, that's not good enough. I hate this.

But wait a minute. This was a Christmas task. Shouldn't I be able to do it cheerfully?

How Lord?

My thoughts went back to four years ago when my arms ached while decorating the tree because of nerve damage from the bends. I should be happy to have healthy arms to reach and move. How many other people are not physically able to do what I can?

I have a beautiful tree, but that wasn't always so. In this economy, how many others wish they had a tree to adorn and enjoy? I should be grateful for all I have.

As my thinking shifted, the ache in my stomach disappeared. Just like that. The Christmas music seemed to get louder, and my newfound sense of wellbeing nudged me on.

I started thanking God for the people and events that came to mind with each ornament I picked up. My heart warmed with each fond memory.

Somehow, having a perfect tree didn't seem so important now. Instead of agonizing over the placement of each ornament, I started slapping them up just to get them on. I could always reposition them later. But a funny thing happened−I only changed a few. Most were fine just where they were.

This year for Christmas I received the antidote for grouchiness−thankfulness. I also took another step in conquering that joy-killer−perfectionism. Now it truly is a merrier Christmas.

Appreciation Drawing

Again, thanks to everyone who encourages me by posting on my blog. It helps to know others can relate to my feelings and experiences. Last week I put all follower's and commenter's names in a basket and Wendy's name was drawn to receive the thank you gift. I greatly appreciate her support and affirming words, as I do all of yours.

My Marvelous Fiji Vacation

As we passed through security at the LA airport on our way to Fiji, Bob's glasses fell out of the bin and were mangled between the rollers. I managed to find and retrieve the lenses from under the conveyer belt, but when I held the plastic discs up to the twisted strips of metal that had been the frames, none of the shapes remotely matched. I wanted to show Bob all the spectacular things my mother and I had seen last year. How could he possibly see them now? My heart plunged into despair.

During the next few hours, God started showing me how my perfectionism puts a damper on my joy. I have a hard time being happy unless everything is just right. And not just with me, but also with those around me. How can I be happy if the people I care about are having troubles?

Could I overlook this glasses catastrophe and enjoy my vacation? I prayed for a miracle−only divine intervention could put these Humpty Dumpty glasses back together again. Then I wrestled with God as I strained to let go, accept and enjoy the trip.

In Fiji, we took our sorry handful of parts to a new jeweler in town who was able to fix them. Later that day each lens fell out again, but God enabled me to slip them back into place. They miraculously remained intact the rest of the trip.

On the boat ride to the resort, God again blessed me with new wonders as, to our delight, we saw flying fish soaring above the waves and dolphins arching alongside our vessel. With fresh enthusiasm I bounded into the resort dining room to greet my favorite staff member.

A new server greeted me. When I asked if John was there, she hesitatingly told me he died unexpectedly last month. Died. Tears blurred my vision as reality set in. Was I now supposed to enjoy a happy vacation in light of such grave news?

Over the next few hours I processed the ramifications of John's life and death. I remembered his hospitality and kindness to me, and his prayers for my salvation and healing when I had the bends. He had told me his testimony so I knew he was a Christian, and at peace in heaven. I accepted life there without him, and let him go.

The skies were sunny when we arrived at Namena Island, but that afternoon a storm blew in and remained the entire week we were there. The year before, perfectly calm weather enabled my mother and I to snorkel the reef almost every day. This time the wind-blown waves were so rough we couldn't do this even once. But God continued to show his grace by giving us four beautiful dives, wowing us with His underwater creation. He showed His love by parting the clouds whenever we dove, casting rays of sunlight into the depths to reveal the vibrant colors.

Bob and I had a romantic, intimate week huddled in our cliff-side cottage, sheltered from the wind. We couldn't see all the amazing critters from past trips, but God gifted us with new ones. The protected red-footed boobie birds were sitting on their nests, and we got to see one of the first fluffy chicks up close.

Each day brought new surprises−a garden of giant clams, sightings of blue-spotted stingrays, and a swim with a school of barracuda. We even got to cuddle some adorable, tame flying foxes (yes−they are bats). There were a few more disappointments. I got sick shortly after our kids joined us, and the accommodations at the last resort were challenging. But God guided me through and helped me make the best of each circumstance.

Jesus showed me it's normal to have some bad mixed with the good. Everything doesn't have to be perfect for me to be happy. It's okay to deal with the problems with God's help and let them go, then focus on the good gifts God showers on me.

It was a joyous vacation.

Too Early for Christmas?

Is it ever too early for gifts? The support and encouragement I have received from so many of you who have read my blog has been a wonderful gift to me. Now I want to give a present to you. On November 30th, as an early Christmas present, I will draw the name of a Follower or commenter on my blog, and send her the book Breaking the Worry Habit...Forever by Elizabeth George.

I will put a name in the basket for every Follower and every comment posted on this blog. Just remember to write your name in the body of the text if you post as anonymous, so I'll know who you are.

If you have problems signing up or posting, just click Technical Support in the righthand column under Labels.

And to everyone I give a big heartfelt Thank You. Your kind words are priceless.

Why Worry?

Ever heard of speed-worrying? Bob coined the phrase to describe one of my best-refined skills. I tend to jump in and stew over a problem the minute it surfaces. What if this happens? Or that? What is the worst that could happen…yikes! Bob says if worrying were a sport, I'd be in the Hall of Fame.

But there are so many things to worry about. I've worried about the future, the present and the past. The big issues like health, finances and family members kept me awake at night. The smaller things sometimes got equal time. I agonized over all decisions−what if I make the wrong choice? Afterwards I worried−did I do the right thing?

I spent too much energy worrying about things I had no control over. I got myself all wound up when someone was late, wondering if they got in an accident. I became anxious about the ramifications of things I'd done or said, and worried that others would make bad moves.

My level of concern escalated to such a degree that I called it obsessing. When a problem arose, I couldn't stop thinking about it. I fretted and fumed, dwelling on it day and night, until one day I realized the anxiety made me feel physically ill. At my pinnacle of worrying, I found myself worried that the incessant worrying would cause me to get cancer and die.

My husband was right. I needed to get a handle on myself. Worrying didn't help or change anything, and I didn't want to live with all this stress any longer. I didn't like the anxious, fearful person I was becoming. Christians are supposed to have peace, so I turned to God.

When grappling with my problems, I had prayed and asked for God's assistance, but hadn't let go and released the process to Him. Again, I'd only sipped God's loving provision, ignoring the full measure of His help. I vowed to work on releasing all my troubles to God at the onset, and trusting Him with the results. This decision was an important first step.

Now, when I feel my stomach tense-up about a difficult situation, I take it to God in prayer. We sort through the facts and alternatives, and He instructs me on the part I can do. I act on His directions, and give the rest over to Jesus.

Later, if I find myself dwelling on it again, I cut short my problem-solving and second guessing God and sit down for another session. This time the topic is me.

Why can't I let it go?

The Holy Spirit gently helps me unearth and face my misgivings and fears.

Do I really believe God can and will handle everything?

I remember God's help to me in the past. Bible verses detailing God's strength and care come to mind, reassuring me He will.

I can now place the issue back in His hands and enjoy the peace of trusting my loving, capable God to take care of everything, including me.

Commenting and Following

Some friends told me they had difficulties posting comments, or signing up as a Follower on my blog. I appreciate all your support and encouragement, and want this site to be a place where you can find relief, not additional frustration. Here are some instructions to streamline the process as much as possible.

For the easiest way to post a comment , click comment(s), then select anonymous from the select profile drop-down menu. You can still sign your name the old fashioned way – at the end of the message.

Being a Follower just means you are interested in what I write, and want to return to read more. To become a Follower, simply click the follow button, click create a google account, then write your e-mail address, a password, and your birthday. Remember to click the Follow this blog button at the bottom.

Step-by-step Instructions:

The easiest way to post a comment:

• Click the word comment(s) at the end of the blog article



• Click on the select profile drop-down menu



• Select either anonymous or Google account if you have one.



• Write your comment in the comment box. (If you posted as anonymous, write your name at the end if you wish)



• Click post comment

The easiest way to become a Follower:

• Click the Follow button in the right-hand column



• If you don't have a Google account, create one by clicking on Create a Google Account



• Fill in your e-mail address



• Write a password



• In the Get Started with Google Friend Connect section, write your birth date



• Leave the Follow Publicly default as is)



• Write the word verification word



• Do the hokey pokey and you turn yourself around…just kidding



• Click the Follow this blog button
  Once again, thank you for your input and support. It means the world to me.
  

Hot or Cold

Do you remember the childhood game of "hot or cold"? As one person walks toward the unknown chosen object, the caller cheers her on, yelling, "You're getting hot." When she moves away from the object, the caller warns, "You're getting cold."

God has been playing this same game with me. When I'm at church, I notice I feel better. The worship music helps me drop my week's load and connect with God. The sermon ministers to my personal needs (how does the Pastor do that?). I leave feeling all warm and fuzzy, refreshed and strengthened.

Then as the week progresses, I get caught up in doing my own thing and become "cold." Stress and anxiety creep in. As soon as a problem pops up, anger and fear take over. Worry punches in for her 3am night shift. What happened to that Sunday glow?

I pull out my Bible and resolve to keep a daily quiet time. As I read and listen, God speaks directly to my heart and circumstances. A blanket of sanity and security envelopes me. I slip in my worship CD and spend quality time praying and communing with my Savior. God's power revitalizes my spirit. Now I'm all fired up, and ready to go.

I attack my "to do" list with renewed vigor. At first the tasks seem easy enough. But as I progress, I notice there are more jobs than hours. I dig in, speed up (this includes driving), answer the phone, juggle priorities, apologize, and stress. How did I get here again?

Now it's Wednesday evening. If I hurry and avoid interruptions, I have just enough time to make dinner before mid-week Bible study. Fortunately, Bob is a fast eater. We scarf down our dinner in five minutes then hurry out the door.

I enter the study group a little shaky, but soon my attention shifts from myself to the lesson. As we learn together, God's word builds me up. Through our discussion, my friends encourage me. It's no coincidence the experiences they talk about relate directly to me. God is so good. Strolling to the car I notice my step is much lighter. The chill of the night draws a contrast to the warmth radiating from my heart.

Although it took me years to realize the meaning of this game, I finally got it. The more I forget God and do my own thing, the more susceptible I am to stress, anxiety, worry and depression. The more time I spend with God at church, in Bible reading, prayer and fellowship with other Christians, the more peace and strength I have.

So I've made a conscious decision to keep stepping closer and closer to Jesus. I'm drinking the whole glass of God's provision by progressively including Him in every aspect of my life. I've learned the closer I get to God, the better I feel. This is one game I'm determined to win.

Music Therapy

Until recently, I didn't fully appreciate the medicinal effects of Christian music. From my Social Work background I knew music was an accepted therapy for depression, but over the years I'd dismissed it as fun and recreation. When I realized its powerful influence on my emotions, I bumped it to the top of my list of home remedies.

Now when I'm depressed I crank up the worship music. At first its cheery cadence tends to rub me the wrong way. But gradually, as I persevere, my soul's rhythm begins to resonate with the music. The pulsing beat pushes my beleaguered heart to beat faster until the two tempos are in sync.

When I'm anxious, the same music slows the pitter patter of my heart to a slower, calmer beat. Its steady pace persistently coaxes me to relax. Let go, let go, it urges as it gently massages away tension.

The soothing melodies caress my soul, quieting and comforting me like the touch of a friend. Each chord's strum brings a measure of relief to my aching heart.

But the real power comes through the words. When I'm upset, I have a hard time seeing past my problems and hurts. Christian worship lyrics urge me to release control to God. They sing of his glory and power, reminding me the Creator and Lord of all can easily handle my situation. Tender words reassure me of God's love and desire to help. This music helps shift my focus from myself to my Savior, compelling me to surrender and trust.

Worship music ushers me into God's presence. In that safe place fear and dismay disappear. The oppressive heaviness also lifts, leaving me feeling weightless and free. There I experience an intimate closeness with God, a direct connection between his heart and mine. I can now receive his full comfort, direction and healing. I have unencumbered access to God's strength.

Sipping Christian music occasionally while driving in my car is not enough. I decided to drink the whole glass of this marvelous elixir by listening to it every day. When I need a mood adjustment, I purposefully play the worship songs that draw me into the Great Physician's throne room. Throughout my day, Christian music helps equalize my emotions and sooths my soul.

Stop, Drop and Release

Stress kills. Literally. Taken to the extreme it can cause a heart attack. More often it kills my joy.

Stress greatly diminishes my quality of life. My muscles tense, my stomach knots, my back hurts and my whole body aches. I get grumpy and snap at those I care about. My focus zooms in on the problem, magnifying it until it comsumes my whole life. I summon all my abilities and energy to push through to a solution, disregarding my emotional wellbeing. In the end, exhausted and frazzled, it takes awhile for my nerves to cool down and recover from the trauma.

With God, I found a healthier way to deal with problems. At the first sign of stress, I now stop, drop and release. I see stress as a signal fire, alerting me that something is wrong. Instead of pressing on and ignoring my heightening emotional flames, I stop and listen to my body.

Once I acknowledge my emotional smoke signals, I drop to my knees in prayer. Although the crisis seems urgent, I resist its pull and take some time with Jesus. Since worship music helps calm my anxious thoughts, I put on a CD to focus my mind on God.

Together, God and I work to release whatever's causing my anguish. God reminds me to let go and trust Him. I wrestle with my need to control. I struggle to relinquish my desires, the way I want things to turn out. I cling to my anger and fear. But as I turn each of these over to Jesus, my heartbeat slows and my body unwinds. My vision clears and my perspective returns. When my emotional fire is finally out, I can relax knowing God is with me to walk me through.

So now, at the first sign of stress' fire, I make a point to stop, drop and release. I stop and evaluate my emotions, drop to my knees and take time with God in prayer, and with His help I release the things that make me anxious. When I drink the whole glass of God's assistance, then I'm free to enjoy watching His plan unfold around me.